Taking the High Road

Posted: June 18, 2010 by ambermayer in Uncategorized

Has anyone else noticed how hard it is to know whether or not someone is really a good friend or if they are just using you?  I have found that often the most righteous people, the ones who self profess their greatness and wonder – are often the biggest jerks in our life.  Maybe this is just my experience, but it seems that being a total ass is contagious and the most common symptom is pure selfishness.

Sorry.  I’m ranting. 

Anyway, I just wonder what the motivation is that can turn an otherwise healthy relationship into one person using the other, taking from the other at such great lengths – that almost a decade of dreams and hard work can be thrown down the sink.

None of us are so amazing that we cannot be replaced.  Pure arrogance is a disgusting trait – regardless of your abilities and contributions – nothing is ever worth stepping on a friend or a coworker.  If you need to get farther in life – work more and work harder than your counterparts.

The American Dream is still alive – but the late 90s, early millenium attitude that made twenty somethings think they should make six figures and travel the globe because they are talented is finally extinct.  I’m glad.  It was really annoying to watch. 

The American Dream was never to be so far in debt that you can only make minimum payments on everything you “own”. 

The American Dream means that we are born with the ability to work as hard as we like, on whatever we like and be the creators of our own destiny… and sometimes that means that we have great financial gain from it.  But you can’t skip past the extremely hard work and move straight on into financial gain – it doesn’t work that way!

Family

Joe and I both believe that things happen for a reason.  Last week one of our dear friends lost his beloved wife.  Talk about putting tragedy in perspective.  Our friend’s wife, Misty was truly a testiment to being an “inspiration”.  Throughout her battle with colon cancer at the young age of 32, she was upbeat, postive and always such a warm and charitable soul.  In her last days, she was still inspiring all of us to make sure that we focus on what is most important and get past the “little things” that are not.  Obviously, none of us will ever understand why such a bright and glorious soul was taken from her family and friends at such a young age, but according to Misty – God had a plan and she wasn’t going to question it.  We’ve decided that we wont either.

Regardless of what is in front of us, Joe and I know that the most important thing is to get through it together.  That can be tough sometimes when life is so busy that you’re running in a million directions!  No one ever warns you how much work kids can be when they reach the “social years”.  I was always reassured that things got easier when they grew up – but whatever!  Now they have social engagements, birthday parties, tea parties, just because parties, karate every single day of the week, music lessons, recitals, concerts, plays – they grow out of shoes every other week and their pants are above their ankles within a month of purchase.  Easier?  Puhlease and I’ll gladly trade a bag of diapers a week for their “activity and social needs costs!”.  Not to mention feeding them – our son eats more than a pack of wolves!

Yet, what would life be like without our mini-me’s!  Joe is not the biological father of James (our son) but most people can’t even tell.  They have the same mannerisms, wear similar clothes, walk the same way, talk the same way and whistle just alike.  It is uncanny how similar they are – unfortunately, they even have the same taste in expensive cars.

I know it’s taking me a while to get there, but the point of this post is to reiterate that life is really all about family and friends.  It is so easy to forget about what really matters when life throws its punches, but I guarantee there is no bank account balance, no bill, no diploma or job that can replace a simple dinner with friends, family and laughter – and the satisfaction that ensues. 

No wonder so many people that flock to our gorgeous beaches contact us for Destin Beach Portraits – what’s better than capturing a moment in time where everyone is so happy and in such a beautiful place.  Joe is lucky to be a Destin Photographer, and I am so lucky that he is my wonderful husband and such an outstanding father.

Our new Home

I finally bought my first home.  After almost two years of torture – Joe and I have closed on a new home in the Bluewater Bay area.  Due to all of the previous last minute disappointments, I never really wrote a blog or posted anything about the house until we had the key in hand.  To be precise, we have the key in hand and we have painted 5 of the rooms so far.  Wow – the work ahead of us to finish this home and get it ready to move in is a little overwhelming!

Oh, did I forget to mention that we bought a foreclosure?  In the past, every time a house deal fell through for no apparent reason – Joe and I always reassured each other that there was a “reason” it didn’t work out and there was something else waiting for us out there.  Our new home was once the dream of a growing family that spent their sweat, tears and hard earned money to completely renovate a 1979 build and more than double the square feet with an addition.  80 percent of the way through – on the homestretch, they ran out of money and lost their home.  It really does make it difficult to celebrate our “windfall”. 

In the master bathroom, there is a door that has height markings for each of their children over the years.  We haven’t painted over it yet.  I’m not sure I want to.  It’s a great reminder that in the midst of our blessing there is a broken hearted family out there trying to rebuild their life, find a new home and work on a new dream.

The kids are on spring break so I took three days off this week.  Its not easy stepping away from the phone and the computer – I had no idea what a workaholic I’ve turned into!  I helped paint a little bit and then spent the majority of the afternoon filling in nail holes along all of the baseboard in the living room and dining room.  My goodness the contractor who put up the floorboard must have been taking out his/her aggression with the nail gun – that floorboard is never coming off!  I cleaned the window sills and all of the windows on the inside (poor Joe is going to need a ton of help keeping this house clean!).  It was quite cathartic to be able to do manual labor for the day, sweat a little – my mind wandered away from work long enough to notice that my daughter makes all of my same facial expressions when she is annoyed with someone (which is often), that my son is getting taller and has all of Joe’s mannerisms and copies everything he does (just ask Tina about the limp!). 

We will post photos as the house progresses.  Our goal is to be moved in within 45 days … (keep your fingers crossed!).

It’s that time again.  Seems strange that Destin is already ramping up for the 2010 tourist season.  Being a local Destin Photographer living on the emerald coast since 1976 with a couple short time departures I have seen a ton of changes from Okaloosa island to the beaches of south Walton as they are now known.  As the summer quickly approaches all the local area businesses that cater to the droves of people that love our beautiful beach are scrambling to make sure they are able to meet the demands as well as help provide a lasting experience for all the vacationers.  As one of the many business owners in the area I too have been proactive in making sure I am as prepared as I can be to get the most out of the season and deliver as many lasting impressions as I can.  I just had sign magnets made for my SUV and lettering on the back window so as to use my vehicle as a moving billboard.  It’s enjoyable to be able to meet so many families from all over the country as we chat on the phone in preparation for their arrival and talk about the details of their photo sessions.  People from all walks of life come to what once was a small little fishing village to what now has become an extremely popular vacation spot on the emerald coast.  I love living here.  Even during the busy season for our area everyone you meet for the most part is very friendly and sincerely excited to be here.  Weather you come to relax for a week or two or take in all Destin has to offer from a fishing trip out of Destin harbor to sunning at Crab Island, from eating a hickory smoked prime rib at McGuire’s Irish Pub to a quick bile at Harry T’s right on Destin Harbor.  Destin is a great place to live and a great place to vacation.  If you have been thinking about a trip to Destin  -don’t think anymore.  This is a destination that really isn’t that far of a drive from anywhere you may live in the southeast so come to Destin and Welcome to your vacation.

Paint n Place Baytown Location

Since I married the world’s most balanced beach photographer, I am no longer allowed to have any of the normal vices like excessive drinking, smoking or gambling.  We do not own a swimming pool or hot tub, and my gym membership is more torture than relaxation.  Having the gym access pass on my keychain stresses me out – it’s like every time I start my car I feel like a failure. 

Yes people, that truly means no glass of wine during dinner to wind down the day, no cold beers on the weekend to sweat out the frustrations of the week.  Compound this with a strict diabetic diet (no carbs, no sugar, no chocolate)…. and I’m not sure how I have managed to stay sane.  So I have been on a quest to find something that could distract me long enough to help me rejuvinate before heading back to the trenches every Monday morning.

Joe and I decided we’d try pottery.  Stop laughing.  We didn’t “make” the pottery, we just painted it and then the shop glazed and fired it.  Although the scene from GHOST still inspires me to try and get my hands dirty, especially if some hot hunky shirtless man wanted to sit behind me while I was molding my latest creation.  Of course, in my fantasy, this hot hunky shirtless man looks very similar to my husband.  Ahem, sorry… I got distracted.  Anyway, we chose the Paint-N-Place located on the Harbor at Harborwalk since it would have the best view of all of the other locations.  There is also one in Sandestin (we took the kids there for their birthday and they had a blast!), and a new location at Pier Park in Panama City Beach, Florida.

We both chose large items, Joe – a large bowl for mixing and I chose a large serving platter.  It is funny how one’s personality is so vivid when you put a paintbrush in their hands.  Joe’s bowl has clean lines, three main colors and looks just like something he would love in a store.  My platter has many colors (although there is a theme), and freestyle handpainted flowers with vines that disrupt the very orderly patterns on the edge of the platter.  Sound familiar?

The next day when we went to pick up the pieces at the shop, we were greeted by a very nice couple.  Of course, they complimented our pieces and then we sat and chatted for a while.  Come to find out – they owned the shop.  Nice to know that you can still get such personal service from people who care so much about the product that they sell.

The whole experience was fabulous and we intend on making it a monthly outing – with or without the kids.  We highly recommend the activity to locals and tourists alike.  It is a perfect afternoon or morning treat for the whole family and will help preserve your beach vacation memories for a lifetime. 

Paint n Place perfect family outing

I was walking around the local Winn-Dixie grocery store here in Bluewater Bay this afternoon and was pleasantly greeted at the front door by the oasis of jackhammering, construction workers and frantic store employees restocking shelves.  For a moment, it seemed like the scene right after a hurricane – but really, Winn Dixie is just undergoing a facelift and sprucing the place up a bit.  I had an hour before I had to pick up the kids from Ninja practice, Joe had fallen asleep on the couch late in the afternoon and it is so rare that he grabs a cat nap, that I decided to grab the grocery list and get some of the household chores squared away. 

Obviously, with all the construction and store in a total disarray, I quickly scanned the grocery list and cut it in half to ensure I’d be able to pick up the children on time.  Nothing was in the place that it was the last time that I was in the store – not one item.  Where the baskets were – there were now halmark cards, where the sausage and bacon use to live – there was beer and wine.  I started to laugh, then cut the list down to the bare minimums – milk and eggs.  As I was cutting back through produce trying to find milk – a very aggravated middle aged female was huffing and puffing and using a louder than normal voice saying “I just want a bag of onions.  Surely, there is a bag of onions in this place!  I mean – does Winn Dixie have nothing better to do than to move everything around so that you can’t find anything!?”.  Clearly beyond her point of no return, I pointed to the bag of onions on the other side of the aisle, smiled and watched her storm through the rest of the hazard zone.

In reality – my guess is that Winn-Dixie is giving the store a facelift truly and simply because … it was time.  I am sure that someone very experienced in the Grocery Store Satisfaction Index Association of Grocery People consulted with Winn Dixie and convinced them that putting the Ziplock bags next to the pickles would increase the likelihood of a shopper purchasing both the vinegar saturated cucumbers and the handy dandy plastic baggies.  Whatever – at the end of the day, there were a lot of people working, getting paid, making a living, and the store will look great when it is finished.  I am not sure what was going on in the frusted customer’s life, but I hope that she has a really good friend that she can vent to that will wait until she is finished complaining about the onions being moved and then calmly look at her and say, “Honey, it’s just onions”.

Mt. Sophris CO.

Ok, this is my second time writing the blog and I have a feeling you guys may have to adjust to a totally different writing style hope you all like it.  Since the last blog we have been all over the country.  We had just gotten back from Vegas and then I am sure Amber had been somewhere before we headed for Co on the 18th of Dec.  We stayed there a week and were supposed to be home on the 25th.  So, we drove to a town called Grand Junction the night before our 6:30am flight to come home on Christmas day and as we were settling in for the evening Amber checks our flight status and finds out all flight out of Grand Junction, Denver and Vail had all been cancelled for the 25th.  What there was to eat and open on Christmas Eve in Grand Junction was an Applebee’s so that’s what we had for dinner.  The 25th we spent in the room of the Country Wine Inn, it was fine just not where I or Amber wanted to be on Christmas Day.  The flight home on the 26th was uneventful and we were so glad to sleep in our own bed after 8 days away.  Next was Orlando, Amber had some business with Imagine Vacation Homes and our annual passes to Disney had 8 days to the expiration date so we loaded the kids in Caesar and headed south.  While there Amber worked and the kids and I headed to Animal Kingdom to let James ride Mt. Everest.  I thought I was ok with it and Annie was willing but hesitant.  First went through the tree of life with flick and then headed to the Everest Coaster.  We got on and while the coaster was moving forward I was fine then it climbed a steep hill and stopped.  Then came the backward part and it was all over for me.  We got off the ride and Annie shouted let’s do it again as I was trying not to vomit.  I guess she got over her fear of Space Mountain from a short year prior.    I didn’t share that the weekend was really overcast and rainy so after I almost lost my stomach we went back to the rental home that imagine vacation provided for us. The night before we left to come home Ambers clients and our family went to Arabian Nights a great dinner show that is perfect for families with kids.  We had a great time with our family friends Mike and Adam and we even brought some friends from Destin with us, it really was a great long weekend.   Ok we finished the Orlando trip got home Sunday evening and then we were home for 4 days and off to Dollywood yep you heard right, Amber has a client in Dollywood.  This time it was just her and I.   Uncle Rory and Aunt Lisa help us all the time, they are great and they helped out with the gremlins for a couple days before they were off to AL. with their Dad. In Dollywood Amber worked for 3 days straight and we had a day with David, Amber’s brother and Aleda his wife on Sat.  Then back in the plane we go come home Amber has a day to breath and then off to CO. she should be home Friday the 23rd at 3:30pm but there is really bad weather in Vail the airport she has to leave from so hopefully things will be ok for her.  Vail is about an hour from Basalt where she is working so everybody cross your fingers.   

Great Cabin in Dollywood TN.

I have been trying to keep our home clean.  1284 sq ft is just way too small for our family at this point.  The office at Destin Commons is finally finished and I am planning on having it somewhat decorated before Amber gets home and I haven’t started.  I am so excited for Amber the business is really going well, things are hectic but everything will be fine.

On the photography front my phone has been ringing way sooner this year than last.  I already have about a week of photography booked for July.  The Destin Photographer is going to be busy this year.  As always I brought my camera with me on all the above mentioned trips so there will be a couple attached to the blog entry.   I have been doing more condo photography and HD videos as well so I may need some help this year.

There’s No Place Like Home

Posted: December 7, 2009 by jcfrollo in Uncategorized

Blue enjoying our new furniture

It’s not every day or ever that we get a chance to turn our work life as a Destin Photographer or computer connoisseur off and just relax but this past weekend that’s just what we did.  Amber and I hopped on a plane and went to Vegas for a long weekend to hang out with some old friends. The babies stayed at home with Rory and Lisa for a couple days then Dad picked them up until  they returned home Sunday.  Amber contemplated not taking her lap top which was a first by the way and I knew when she asked me if she should leave it what the answer should be.  Even though we wanted to turn off work altogether I knew if she were to leave it at home she would have felt naked without it and not been happy so I told her she needed to just bring it.  I was pleasantly surprised that she turned it on very little while we were away and most of the time it was for something that we needed not what someone else wanted or needed, it was nice.  Vegas is really neat but not for the reason you may think.  I am not a gambler and don’t care for Vegas that way it’s about the other stuff for me.  I was so excited about seeing Phantom of the Opera and the Cirque show Mystere.  We bought tickets to Blue Man which I have seen several times but Amber had never seen.  Unfortunately we didn’t get to Blue Man but saw the Titanic Exhibition and the Exhibition of Bodies kind of creepy but interesting at the same time.  We stayed at the Bellagio, I love the fountain there.   Amber is a fan of room service, I can take it or leave it…well I can leave it when breakfast is a hundred bucks!  But what the hell it was kind of cool I guess.  The drinks were all great I had a pumpkin pie martini which was fabulous, it even made it to facebook it’s the only sideways pic on my page.  Everybody knows I am a car freak so when we passed the advertisement for the car collection at the Imperial Palace I knew I was going to check it out.  I had never seen a concentration of so many Rolls Royces in one spot.  I really liked the Grand Nationals they had three and some old Jags as well.  Anyhow, the long weekend was exhausting as well as exciting.  I love traveling but at the same time there is no place like home.  I mean come on the emerald water and beaches of Destin are gorgeous and especially during the holidays I like to be in my living room watching the tree spin in a circle and watch the fire cracking.  Our home is small but extremely homey.   On the evening before we were to come home I knew I was ready to go and when I got on that plane in Vegas I was so looking forward to the nap I would taking in a few short hours.  Our weekend was fantastic and as we were waking from our nap, in walks our babies and we got to hear about the great time they had with uncle Rory and aunt Lisa.  Then it was solidified – there’s no place like home.

TravelStorm Celebration 2009 - Washington, DC

Celebrating the Merger of TravelStorm and Instant Software in Washington DC

I just realized that I had not written a blog about all of the changes in our life recently – other than the impending wedding (cross your fingers – it looks like everything is falling into place!). 

I was the biggest dork growing up.  We didn’t have a lot of money, and my parents could not afford designer wardrobes so for the most part – I wore my brother’s jeans and tshirts as he outgrew them.  To be honest though – I was comfortable like that and did not realize until later how awkward I must have looked.  I have extremely curly hair and my mother had straight, blonde hair - so she never knew how to deal with me and so it wasn’t until later that I tamed the fro.  I spent about a decade of my life with ten pounds of hair rolled into a tight bun like a librarian.  All the while – add to the fact that I wore a crimson harvard baseball cap from the age of 9 and then all thoughout my teenage years.  I grew up in absolute insane chaos, but I kept my eye on my future and hoped dearly that life could and would be different if I worked really hard in school.  From the age of 4, I was convinced that I wanted to be a lawyer.

Life has its own pathways, and I chose some well and others were a disaster – but all in all – I never stepped foot in a law school, nor walked across a stage to be handed a degree.  I’m learning to be okay with that.  Regardless, I have never stopped living big, hoping and working hard at whatever opportunities life has provided. 

A few weeks ago I had the most amazing change in my career.  All the while that I have been working as a Property Manager in Destin, Florida – running resorts, vacation rentals, golf campaigns, etc….. I have been quietly working with a business partner and developing a Travel Website Company and Marketing Consulting Agency called, TravelStorm.  (Well, originally it was called Viavacanza but no one in the south could say that so we quickly rebranded)  Over the past few years, I’d found a way to sleep less and work more and more on the side in order to focus on the potential of one day growing TravelStorm into something spectacular. 

I guess all those sleepless nights have finally paid off.  The majority interest in TravelStorm was recently acquired by the largest software company in the world in our industry, Instant Software.   No, there was no instant financial windfall… and the money is not the point of this post.  In fact, the money is the least important aspect of my story.  What I want everyone to understand is that I have taken a lot of risks over the years, leaps of faith and although I’ve had moments of self doubt (just ask poor Joe), I always brushed myself off and forged ahead, climbed the ladder and never looked down.  I have not been held back by my lack of degrees, my ethnicity, my sex, my race, nothing.  The only force that has ever been in the way of my successes and had any bearing on my abilities to grow – were my own fears.  Thank God, I have had dozens of great people in my life over the years that have convinced me to silence this voice of self doubt in my head and truly believe that the worst that could happen, is failing at something and being no better off than I was in the first place.

Several colleagues – while happy for me, have warned me to have a backup plan in case things dont go well.  I have always laughed, nodded, said – “I hear ya”, etc.  But here’s what I really think.  I don’t plan my life based on backup plans.  Life is journey and I’m on this road for a reason.  If this venture does not turn out to be everything I’m dreaming of – then I will work hard and find a new path, work hard, hope for the best and not look back.  People who want to get somewhere else in life have to give up the stability and focus on the possibilities. 

As a side note, I want you all to know that deep within my ambitious nature, is truly just a mom trying very hard to make sure the kids have a different pathway to success than my own.  I don’t think they need to feel awkward at school or fight their way through life in order to be strong people.  I have every confidence, that they see me and know that everything you get in life comes from the energy you give to this world. 

So on top of being able to marry the most incredible man I’ve ever encountered in just a few days, we’ve also had this incredible change in our work lives and now I can stop working at 6 or 7pm instead 2 or 3am and really get to live a little on top of all this hard work.  Its made such a huge difference.  I wake up excited about the day, looking forward to seeing the kids off the bus and get to play with Joe and the kids every night without worrying about getting behind on something.  Although I believe that finding balance was inevitable, I know I would not have gotten here without sacrificing for the past few years and I have no regrets.  Just as I had to convince Joe to take his leap of faith to become a Destin Photographer, I want to say thank you to all of you who have helped me overcome my obstacles and convinced me to never look back. 

The Not so Friendly Skies

Posted: November 1, 2009 by ambermayer in Joe's Travels
Tags: , , ,
DC photos (41 of 112)

Museum of Natral History Washington DC

We just returned from a very long weekend in Washington, DC for the Vacation Rental Manager’s Association National Convention.  Amber had never been to DC and was looking forward to the monuments, sights and sounds – but of course she worked instead and never saw much more than a few restaurants, the inside of the hotel, and the airports.  We flew US Airways and had an extremely pleasant experience with great service, a clean airplane and a smooth ride most of the way there.  The only discomfort was Amber’s nails digging into my leg every time we hit an airpocket or encountered even the slightest turbulance.  (I love her anyway).  Coach is never comfortable for a man over six feet tall, but I can handle less than two hours at a time.   I had a feeling before we ever got on the plane that we were going to get sick on this trip.  Maybe it was due to the fact that we were somewhat exhausted from all of the changes recently – the wedding plans, still trying unsuccessfuly to purchase  a larger home, the kids have been sick constantly, Amber selling her company to Instant Software, etc.

All in all – I spent most of my time up in the room waiting for Amber to finish her networking and classes each day and I slept a lot.  We had purchased a new matress a few months ago and spent a fortune, but neither of us have been sleeping very well.  I now know that it must be a mattress issue because the Omni mattress had us both sleeping like babies in the entire length of our trip.  Poor Amber was exhausted every single night by the time she got done, so I had no idea that her need for shut eye had anything to do with some invisible germs that must have paid us a visit during our trip.

By the last evening, Amber could barely walk up the hall to our hotel room.  I initially blamed it on the high heels she wore the entire trip – a big departure from jeans, a tshirt and flip flops (welcome to corporate America).  At four in the morning though – she could barely put on her shoes she was so weak and I never thought we’d make it to the airport.  On the first leg of our flight we encountered the rudest, most obnoxious stewardess I have ever seen in my entire life.  US Airways, I hope you read this blog!  The woman looked like a stick version of Barbie, but with a scowl on her face.  Apparently, she is not a morning person and had probably been out drinking all night long because she kept her hand on her forehead and drank from a gallon size bottle of juice in the back of the plane.  As people were putting their luggage in the overhead bins, if they made too much noise or took a little too long – she would say, “Enough already, sit down!”.  An older gentleman inadvertently took too long sitting down at his seat in the rear of the plane and Bitter Barbie barked at him that she was going to move him somewhere else on the plane since he was sitting so close to the restroom.  He said he was fine with his current seat, but Thank You.  She gave him the dirtiest look and said, “I’m not asking you, I’m telling you that I’m moving you.”  The man must have been in his late fifties or early sixties and looked at all us in the surrounding seats, like – “what did I do?”.  He continued sitting bewildered in his seat as Bitter Barbie struggled to remove his bag from the overhead bin – literally ripping it out because it was too heavy for her.  She stomped up the aisle and tossed in another bin, put her hands on her hips and said, “You really are moving right now.”  The older fellow said nothing, got up and moved towards the middle of the plane.  Bitter Barbie then walked to the front of the plane, flirted with the pilots for a few minutes, threw her bottle blonde hair back and laughed before returning to the back of the plane, sitting in the gentleman’s previous seat and guzzling her gallon of juice. 

So here’s the rotten part….. we had commented all throughout our trip that we had a great experience with US Airways and were surprised at the comparison to other airlines we had used over the years.  However, due to Bitter Barbie – we are wondering who will get our next airline purchase when we fly to Wilmington in December for another meeting.  Suddenly, life has gotten too short to just buy the cheapest ticket, hotel room or anything else – we will spend our money and search for the best experience from now on!  SHAME ON YOU BARBIE – if that were my father that you treated that way - I’d have knocked your head off! 

So not only did we have a horrible flight home – but we both walked in the door with horrible fevers and the flu!  So much for the friendly skies!